so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
