Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
