i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm really busy with my period
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