You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
