she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
