i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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