I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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