ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
