I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
