P.S. I can't hear my feet
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
