Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
