im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
