I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
