I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
