I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
