yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Randomize
