sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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