ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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