how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize