You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
