An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I want to fling myself into the sun
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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