I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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