Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
