You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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