I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
