That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
