It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
