I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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