I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
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