He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Text me some of your sweat
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