im so drunk with asians
where?
always
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
