What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
