porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
