Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize