Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I need help removing her.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
