Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My cat gives me a boner
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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