Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All the doctor said was why
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
