I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
