Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
