I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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