I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
