Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.