im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.