This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.