just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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