I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
