U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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