So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
