Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
