Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize