Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
