So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
