I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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