I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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