Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
