my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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