So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
