were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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