we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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