He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
