i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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